chapter 9

i referred to the old man as ''cock sucker"...i must now
state that i meant that as a term of affection...its like
saying to some one : ''hey you , you ugly prick ''...or :
''your mother is a whore "...i mean...what would you want
out of a friendship anyway??? someone who loves you being
somewhat rude in his expression of his emotions...or the
most polite and politically correct relationship imaginable...yet
based totally upon what someone can get for themselves???

one of the zillion aspects of our society that allows us
to conclude that we are , in fact , ''rome before the fall
''...is that the heart of the individual is not
considered to be an important aspect in discerning what
friend is or is not supposed to be.

the cry went through the hills and the tar pits of our world
:"whats in it for me ?''...relationships are using the same
principal that prostitutes and their clients base their
interactions upon...one meets the needs of another...it
is returned with another form of stimulation...and everyone
is convinced that everyone is dealing with sincere individuals...in
fact , until one stops getting their needs met...all are
considered good and upright individuals.

the affliction which is being described here is narcissism...the
idea that ones personal pain only matters if they scream
so loud that it hurts your ears...the value of another is
only relative to what they can achieve...its why great hockey
players are considered great human beings...and the opinions
of shitty hockey players are not valid...only what brings
us some sort of gratification is worth while...and if the
biggest idiot in the history of the universe scores three
points a game...then people will listen

it is no wonder why true spirituality is virtually non-existent
in north america...the richness of the human heart is not
what the narcissist can feed upon...love does not achieve
self-centered goals...in fact , it doesnt even seek its
own way...it even goes so far as to lay its life down for
another...values that , in truth , the church , the political
forum and society in general disdain and even are quite
profoundly threatened by.

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