chapter 17

froggy and l were in st. john de la luz...rum and coke is
such a beautiful thing...froggy had been informed that his
money supply was gone...i felt so badly for him that i gave
him the last sip of rum...he was to hop on the lily pad
of life back to the great white north...i slept with my
wallet in my underwear...just in case froggy was a thief...with
my luck he would be a homosexual thief...who likes to take
peoples underwear as well as their money.

someone once said that most people spend their lives living
in quiet desperation...hiding themselves from the world...afraid
of rejection at every corner...quite interesting , is it
not??? i mean , it is not until we are known for who we really are that we can actually experience acceptance...yet we
see our reputation as more important than the possibility
of love .

i assume that we dont see the possibility of real love as
very important...that status and money are what matters...funny
that...jesus said that some day all will be gone but faith
hope and love...yet we still dont see it as very significant.

first of all...who will succeed if they are known for who
they really are??? ! mean, what wife wants to hear from their
husband that they are a coward who would rather masturbate
than have sex with them??? that is , the brutality of honesty
doesnt seem to work.

to begin with... not too many people are smart enough to
realize that , if their husband was honest...it would mean
that they have one of the few alive...they would only compare
them with the status quo and conclude that they got fucked
on the deal...i! mean...an honest person looks like the worst
the lot...if you dont play the game...you lose .

i am indeed aware that the easy answer for building walls
around us is pride...god knows we are all full of it...yet
pride is too easy...and everyone knows that we all desire
to consider our selves better than the next person...fuck
it...life is more complicated than that , anyway...honesty
convicts us...and no one will say other wise...virtually
all have their wallet some where between their cock and
underwear...the only difference is...mine aint metaphoric...god
bless froggy...i am just paranoid...i know that the little
fucker wouldnt steal from me... he is too drunk to think of
it anyway .