i got off the train in lousanne...and began to walk up a
steep hill to my somewhat ambiguous destination...for the
last week l had been having visions of seeing a boy killed
on a bicycle...i had been hoping that it was my imagination...it
wasnt.
as the car hit the teen , i turned to see him being thrust-ed
thru the air some twenty feet or so...i could almost see
my reflection in the pool of blood...he panted heavily like
a rabbit in a trap...just about to take his last breath...i
prayed and walked away...sure that the child was soon to
die.
i had spent the first eight years of my life being beaten
by my father...my brother disowned me when i became a follower
of jesus...the next time i was to see him was in a small
box...he had drowned...i have had over two dozen potentially
fatal afflictions...i once had a skin problem so profound
that , at times , i couldnt even identify myself...i have
had religious authorities attempt to brutally destroy my
life because i wouldnt adhere to their idiotic theology
and doctrines of manipulation and control...ive had two
nervous breakdowns...a four year depression...post dramatic
stress...a suicide attempt and a coinciding three day semi-coma...ive
had two failed engagements...and , worst of all
, ive been separated from those that i loved the most...fuck...should
i continue??? i mean , how am i to feel when someone is killed
in front of me??? i find the sadness of life so hard to deal
with since my depression...and that is why i traveled europe...to
replace the sadness with joy...and then i see i dying child
on the road side.
a human is no greater than what he has to overcome...i am
my experiences , and i will embrace life as much as i possibly
can...i remember a motorcycle accident that i had when i
was twenty five...flying through the air , i thought to
myself...”look , ma , i am flying ''.
in lousanne i began to date the secretary of the religious
compound where i was staying...i dont think they appreciated
that very much...so god told them to send me to where the
secretaries didn't have such nice tits...and i think that
god said something about the asses too...but i forget .
0 comments
No comments:
Post a Comment