chapter 4

no perception in life is more metaphoric than what is seen as one looks through an open window...maybe its the frame given to the object being observed...maybe its because breasts and tits are more often than not what are being looked upon...maybe its simply the convenience of being able to sit while visions of night , weaker moments and crazy people are being taken in...and controlled...it matters not...the window eventually becomes the doorway for the dusting off of the retarded little creature known as man...! learned so much about myself as i watch others learn nothing about me.

there was mr. sex...his window was directly across from my hotel room...he would wait until someone was watching him undress his somewhat ignorant and carefree victim...he didnt really give a shit about sex...it was the thrill of having someone perceive him as a heterosexual man who got his ''pussy''...ironically , i would have been a lot more impressed if he had the other type of pussy-a cat , that is-and treated it with a little kindness...that is to say , the only thing really being fucked was mr. sex himself...in displaying his ''manhood''...he had only proven that he really didnt love women...maybe not even sexually...thats another question...if he had any respect for this woman , he would at the very least tell her of his exhibitionist inclinations...then
they could be perverts together .

i couldnt help ask myself the question : am i like mr. sex??? no , i dont have any desire to lure someone into some type of perverse world and not even tell them about it...yet
all keep secrets that are valuable bits of information that could help others to decide the degree of involvement that they would want to have with us...fuck it!!! if someone loves you , then they love you...to disclose yourself will only help the relationship in the long run...so much time and energy wasted as we pretend to be someone that we are not .

there was a lot of other interesting shit going on outside my bedroom window....most of it concerned with people wanting something that they probably should not be given...it was time to go for a walk down the streets of nice , france...wearing nothing but my underwear...with a quart of cheap wine in my left hand...staggering down the streets of this wonderful place...it was time for some real authentic french chinese food.

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