chapter 39

it was drunken supper time...all us travelers from around
the world would eat our pasta , chicken and such...there
were two young virile looking ladles sucking back their
hamburgers , talking about the village from which they came...apparently
everyone in this quaint little settlement discriminated
against outsiders...even to the point of making it so uncomfortable
for them that they would have to leave and find another
place to get screwed around in...i said that this was awful...they
replied that it was part of their culture and , therefore ,
reasonable.

my suspicion was that the real reason why these two ladies
found this type of behavior o.k. was because they weren't
the ones getting shafted by the locals...i was even convinced
that , if they were the ones being emotionally tortured
, their opinion would radically differ.

the problem with the human race is that the narcissism displayed
among almost all adolescents is never replaced with a more
mature and loving behavior of an adult...that is to say
, people virtually never seem to grow up and behold a world
where they are no longer the center...where other people
are just as important as they are.

the ''complete'' and loving human being is one that responds
to the next individual in a way that embraces and protects
their emotions...they are not simply there to meet giant
unfulfilled needs that have probably never been fully realized...there
aint no fucking games going on...people are seen as too
precious to be manipulated for any type of gratification.

i think the reason why we are all so nauseated by cannibalism
is because that is exactly what we all are on one level
or another...we may not eat the flesh of others...but we
gain power , reputation and even sexual release as a result
of their exploitation...most see others as existing for
their benefit...and the concept of being compassionate...
really embraced .

as usual...i ate and drank until i couldnt eat and drink
any more...then i took the remaining chicken and hid it
in the basement freezer...it was good chicken...and most
of it was eaten...just like most of our souls...by others
for some purpose that may not even be known to the consumers...and
if part of me is in your stomach...i hope i give you the
shits.