chapter 12

my new friend...who i refer to as my new special friend...was
named freddie...but i referred to him as froggie...not because
he was french...though he most certainly was...but because
he could jump really high and far...not that i ever saw
him jump at a11...he simply looks the type...you know ,
short stumpy legs that i am sure he was teased about all through
out grade school so he compensated by learning to jump really
really far.

froggie and i took the first night train we could find to
san sabastian in northern spain...we drank until we got
quite drunk...then , thank god , the train stopped long
enough for us to find some more beverages of an alcohol
content...we talked about the amazing lily pad that we refer
to as the universe...how big it is and how small we are
in comparison...or are we???
it is suggested that every point in the universe intersects
at every point that one could possibly imagine...therefore
it is quite possible that every truth that there is , not
only on a human level , but on an infinite scale that is
not only concerned with this dimension but possibly others
as well...is locked inside of who we are...ready and willing
to be embraced the moment that we stop resisting ourselves
and each other .

the resistance that i refer to is pride...that is , the
unwillingness of the conscious mind to accept the truth
of ones self as clearly stated in the subconscious mind...pride in essence , is afraid of the truth concerning ones self...forcing
it to hide and mutate into something even more destructive...as
it sees imperfection as its mortal enemy .

if the subconscious mind is not embraced , it will begin
to behave like an unloved child in fear of the truth being
found out about him...behavior will be erratic and even
uncontrollable...as the conscious mind so isolates its self
from the subconscious mind that it begins to loose even
the slightest understanding of why it is doing what it is
, in fact , doing...self justification , then , is the method
of perpetuating this process...while dancing with and even
copulating with its brother , pride...everything not only
begins to make sense and seem reasonable...but , at the
same time...they begin to form a new point of reference
to become the center of the universe...a new god if you
will...and it is referred to as : self.

inside the way of self...the two levels of mind no longer
have to understand each other...the truth that the subconscious
mind had to offer is now completely irrelevant...the conscious
mind has become completely self satisfied...and will dismiss
all opposition from now on...one of the benefits of being
a divinity.

and here enters the purpose of organized religion...if done
correctly...it can be used to justify anything...choose
the church that will help perpetuate the darkness within...it
is quite easy to find a clergy that will reinforce any neurotic
view that is conceivable within the context of the perversions
of the human mind...self righteousness is the perfection
of the church throughout the centuries...and the reason
is simply because...it makes money .